"Down the highway, down the tracks, down the road to ecstasy"

July 5, 2018

End of an Era II

"Even the softest touch"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOpmdkGf5DY

Standing the Doorway by Bob Dylan 2000

I’m walking through the summer nights
Jukebox playing low
Yesterday everything was going too fast
Today, it’s moving too slow
I got no place left to turn
I got nothing left to burn
Don’t know if I saw you, if I would kiss you or kill you
It probably wouldn’t matter to you anyhow
You left me standing in the doorway, crying
I got nothing to go back to now

The light in this place is so bad
Making me sick in the head
All the laughter is just making me sad
The stars have turned cherry red
I’m strumming on my gay guitar
Smoking a cheap cigar
The ghost of our old love has not gone away
Don’t look like it will anytime soon
You left me standing in the doorway crying
Under the midnight moon

Maybe they’ll get me and maybe they won’t
But not tonight and it won’t be here
There are things I could say but I don’t
I know the mercy of God must be near
I’ve been riding the midnight train
Got ice water in my veins
I would be crazy if I took you back
It would go up against every rule
You left me standing in the doorway, crying
Suffering like a fool

When the last rays of daylight go down
Buddy, you’ll roll no more
I can hear the church bells ringing in the yard
I wonder who they’re ringing for
I know I can’t win
But my heart just won’t give in
Last night I danced with a stranger
But she just reminded me you were the one
You left me standing in the doorway crying
In the dark land of the sun

I’ll eat when I’m hungry, drink when I’m dry
And live my life on the square And even if the flesh falls off of my face
I know someone will be there to care
It always means so much
Even the softest touch
I see nothing to be gained by any explanation
There are no words that need to be said
You left me standing in the doorway crying
Blues wrapped around my head

Others sometimes "get" it too.

"...the monolith around which her life revolved." How appropriate.

"Back to before we knew we could be free, free as we were allowed to be." (might have written that, can't recall.)

"...her physical self had accompanied her like a single-minded demanding child that had been thrust into her less than willing care."

"There lives more faith in honest doubt than in half the creeds" Tennyson

"Loneliness is not a state of being, you know, its a reaction to a state of being, which is simply being alone. You chose both."

"What did it matter now, the mistake (?) he had made with ________________so many years ago, egregious though that mistake had been? Time not only heals, he believed, it also, in the end exonerates, by process of enervation, if nothing else."

July 4, 2018

End of an Era I

"Soon After Midnight" from "Tempest" 2012

I'm searching for phrases
To sing your praises
I need to tell someone
It's soon after midnight
And my day has just begun

A gal named Honey
Took my money
She was passing by
It's soon after midnight
And the moon is in my eye

My heart is cheerful
It's never fearful
I've been down on the killing floors
I'm in no great hurry
I'm not afraid of your fury
I've faced stronger walls than yours

Charlotte's a harlot
Dresses in scarlet
Mary dresses in green
It's soon after midnight
And I've got a date with the fairy queen

They chirp and they chatter
What does it matter?
They lie and they dine in their blood
Two timing slim
Who's ever heard of him?
I'll drag his corpse through the mud

It's now or never
More than ever
When I met you I didn't think you'd do
It's soon after midnight
And I don't want nobody but you

Soon After Midnight (Bob Dylan)

https://vimeo.com/52119316

Dignity by Bob Dylan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSy267PTSnY

We Better Talk This Over

Bob Dylan

I think we better talk this over
Maybe when we both get sober
You’ll understand I’m only a man Doin’ the best that I can

This situation can only get rougher
Why should we needlessly suffer?
Let’s call it a day, go our own different ways
Before we decay

You don’t have to be afraid of looking into my face
We’ve done nothing to each other time will not erase

I feel displaced, I got a low-down feeling
You been two-faced, you been double-dealing
I took a chance, got caught in the trance
Of a downhill dance

Oh, child, why you wanna hurt me?
I’m exiled, you can’t convert me
I’m lost in the haze of your delicate ways
With both eyes glazed

You don’t have to yearn for love, you don’t have to be alone
Somewheres in this universe there’s a place that you can call home

I guess I’ll be leaving tomorrow
If I have to beg, steal or borrow
It’d be great to cross paths in a day and a half
Look at each other and laugh

But I don’t think it’s liable to happen
Like the sound of one hand clappin’
The vows that we kept are now broken and swept
’Neath the bed where we slept

Don’t think of me and fantasize on what we never had
Be grateful for what we’ve shared together and be glad
Why should we go on watching each other through a telescope?
Eventually we’ll hang ourselves on all this tangled rope

Oh, babe, time for a new transition
I wish I was a magician
I would wave a wand and tie back the bond
That we’ve both gone beyond

Things Have Changed?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9EKqQWPjyo

Lay, Lady Lay, by Bob Dylan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWz88VY-FkA

Sometimes I wonder if the millions of people of have grooved to "Lay Lady Lay" ever wonder what happened to "her."

I challenge many a woman not to have been seduced by that album and just for the record, not in the past 50 years was there ever an "affair" (a ways from it, but, heh artists are mad as march hares. Ditto for the much appreciated "Tangled Up in Blue,", "Make You Feel My Love" and the album that followed my second ill fated marriage "Time Out of Mind.")

It be a disappointment, no doubt, to find out that the woman in the songs just faded away, like old soldiers, old hippies and all that...not hell, not even purgatory, but back to some suburban limbo. One can interpret that in several ways and only those who were on the scene back then and here and there would have some notion. Only those who are intimately familiar with his work and lyrics and periods and people you associated with...and even then. But you and I know, d.m. and I suppose that's all that "should" matter.

"Be grateful for what we've shared together and be glad"...yeah, I know, but I'm still alive after all and "some things take a long time to die."

June 26.2018

Bye And Bye

Written by: Bob Dylan

Bye and bye, I’m breathin’ a lover’s sigh
I’m sittin’ on my watch so I can be on time
I’m singin’ love’s praises with sugar-coated rhyme
Bye and bye, on you I’m casting my eye

I’m paintin’ the town—swinging my partner around
I know who I can depend on, I know who to trust
I’m watchin’ the roads, I’m studying the dust
I’m paintin’ the town making my last go-round

Well, I’m scufflin’ and I’m shufflin’ and I’m walkin’ on briars
I’m not even acquainted with my own desires

I’m rollin’ slow—I’m doing all I know
I’m tellin’ myself I found true happiness
That I’ve still got a dream that hasn’t been repossessed
I’m rollin’ slow, goin’ where the wild roses grow

Well the future for me is already a thing of the past
You were my first love and you will be my last

Papa gone mad, mamma, she’s feeling sad
I’m gonna baptize you in fire so you can sin no more
I’m gonna establish my rule through civil war
Gonna make you see just how loyal and true a man can be "

May 14, 2018

"Oh, sister, when I come to lie in your arms
You should not treat me like a stranger"

Bob Dylan

April 24, 2018

Two Cats by Alexra

(with glass reflection circa 2003)

Per the writing previously posted:

Set Me Aside?

Overcome by erstwhile fervor, set me aside and some would reckon it a mercy blow. Visions persist of being bound up with a rare specimen of a stranger seen more than once, but never met. Recollections of warnings that carried no weight and pleaded no pride, serve only to reinforce memories of the gratifying license I gave you to break my heart and render it barren.

However much with golden eagles your route was paved, nothing will remand my afflicted Venus or compensate for a pyre of secluded isolation. In the end, no strength is found to curse or praise, for neither peasant nor aristocrat are entitled to call the shots when comes the inescapable envoy on a pallid charger, heralding hope of reincarnation, but guaranteeing only annihilation.

Every face that beamed, that celebrated you, is yours and yours is the reward to choose. In your hand, which gave parade and paradise expression, birdsong and sullied terror, I was elevated, placated and shattered. Set me aside and my faith in human nature will perish -- damned like unborn children laid to waste, like still born flowers that regret extinction.

My share of an ever greater amount of trouble will perch upon my dwelling and mishap and betrayal harass my being, granting me only awareness of our combined cell that flavored my days with miscast words and misspent youth. Even the most reverent will have to concede there was no calling card in evidence, no trick of the eye, no way to slip, slide away. Given the state of our affairs, there will be no one to exonerate and nothing to rescue, except an unusual undying story, that will serve as our sepulcher and delight and refresh the living.

Set me aside and nothing will occlude my vision of a sword of just and bitter righteousness, of lament, travail and reckoning. No gesture will acquit admonitions that signified "too late" and freedom's spaciousness provided by our protective corral, will implode the very essence that formulated our treasured understanding -- which to this day has not unraveled.

***

Were it my right, my choice, I'd say thank you for your response, replay, reply, attention...and what it may be you might feel/think at this point. Forgiveness? Heh, you seduced me, stole me in '68 from the only good man I was to ever again come across, but I started it. Besides who didn't want to hang out with the coolest guy ever. In any case, it probably would have happened anyway with somebody else in some other way...the times, you know, the search for intellectual compatibility, (which turned out to not mean what I needed later in life and, after all, there was you.)

Right generous of me all this, don't you think, considering, as far as I can determine you've stopped "calling me" some time ago. IT is not an obligation after all, or response to guilt, or whatever...or shouldn't be -- as if rules entered all that much into the equation in our lives. Late in the day, aren't we privileged "to clean house." (Not knowing what Chronicles II contains, but I doubt it addresses any truly personal matters.)

"I always have respected her
For doin' what she did and gettin' free" from "If You See Her, Say Hello"

The whole thing has become too public for me (even if only an audience of even just one). never looked to make a name for myself, being reticent in ways myself and the last what 15 years only the internet. Say what you will, I'll take more than a few secrets to my grave. Tells me I did it my way.

Many songs devoted to love, even the fabulous recycling of other days, other ways and your singular skill with vitriol and tenderness and passion. However, more than is credible an amount of songs about many other things. Perhaps free yourself for your public? From what I gather "Tangled Up in Blue" -- a HIT, has been maneuvered, adjusted, edited...and some say massacred. I do understand the desire for change (I am an "air" sign too, ya know) and expressing creativity, but I prefer the "original." Besides not having the benefit of hundreds of live shows, only a selection of crappy quality clips, studio versions are imprinted in my psyche, (I don't suppose you could possibly know how it felt knowing the joke about the topless bar and other matters this literal person confronted in your allegorical land of metaphor!)

Had a dream the other night where I saw on a computer a song of yours I had not seen. Its title was 'Right Time Blues". The first line was something about hardly had the time to visit (the rest I couldn't access). Apropos: " I had so much left to do. I had so little time to fail." I woke up and the word dissolution, "spoke" to me. How apt.

A few weeks ago I had to help my 16 year old buddy, who for 15 years was my most treasured best friend and companion -- my most beloved canine into another dimension. It was unconditional devotion unmatched by any humans. I've not be able to stop weeping. I am disconsolate. It was by far one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I don't believe I'll ever be the same again. Too often who we love, we lose. In my mind's eye I want to believe he's cavorting in some meadow with his own kind and able to have a mate, which we homo sapiens took from him with the most compassionate intention, of course. (Too many starve, are diseased and die horribly from overpopulation or are euthanized.) In a way I feel I was an "assignment" for this one...little old lady, little ol' dog...a cliché, but only those who experience know.

"If you don't believe there's a price for this sweet paradise, remind me to show you the scars" from "Where Are You Tonight?"

Twenty years without another's intimate company, or any for that matter. Yes, I can't believe it myself. Punishment? A retreat/award? Fate? Preference? Slim pickin's too, no question. But then it's not like I didn't have my day in the sun.

Considering my hard-working, small family are on their own feet, particularly emotionally speaking, I've been prepared (or so she says) to "move on" for some time, however, from the frying pan into the fire, instead of oblivion is a concern. Can't believe it's been a year since the operation and I wonder wouldn't it have been o.k. then and there? I dearly wished to outlive my dog, however, and I did. I wonder what exactly is my purpose now? I know I AM fortunate in a number of ways and remind myself daily. You too are blessed, d.m. in that you have ART (an artist's usually must be first love anyhow and certainly have reached every show of appreciation, respect and benefit) and no doubt, other desires pertaining to feeling best on stage, the rush of applause, your large clan, your fans without whom...well. For me it feels like time, but as of today, not yet quite the right time.

Searching for le mot juste -- if there is one I cannot find it at the moment and "heading" is a fragile concept for me at this age. I seek beyond my faults, that what remains beyond desire and words, habits and emotion...the pure version reaching out effortlessly to a universe beyond -- to spirit soaring in new ways.

***

P.S. By the way, since you're a friend (albeit most unconventional) and although my so-called advisor counsels "let him go/let him wait," and I must be old-fashioned (yeah, hear me) but a clapping beer hall type sing-along for "Desolation Row" struck me as disturbing -- it always seemed to me most poetic way to depict tragedy and I've been in those neighborhoods imagined but ain't it a hoot that NYC Little Italy (for instance) is now one of the highest zip codes. Oh well, it's debatable what we actually have control over. "Ballad of a Thing Man" an entirely other matter. The band is sounding great too.

Also don't worry about the cameras. You're lookin' just fine. As remarked, it's the price of being a performer. Recently saw a clip of a much diminished Gordon Lightfoot, once a beautiful man -- and now not only is his appearance troubling but in an interview he was in full geezer mode. So sad. (I know, I know I should talk). Just sayin'. It's hard to grow old and challenging to say the least in front of the cameras. More power to you.

"I know you're sorry, I'm sorry too" From "Mississippi" by Bob Dylan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBEDHaa6_yg

"Tweedle Dee and Twedle Dum" Bob Dylan (Yeah you know that genius guy)

________________

It may be a disquieting difficulty to have a skeptical mind and a sentimental heart.

March 14, 2018

Tending the Mind's Eye Bailiwick

Didn't we cross the Rubicon dear man?

How I yearned for every riposte, hoping for the peace only you could give, knowing full well the curfew of desire.

We remain silent then, those who have tasted sound and glory and pilfered life as if for the will to live.

Bravery and foolishness were neighbors on the wheel of fortune. Is reclamation the only prerequisite

-- aware precious few, of woman born, are granted both body and soul ?

Queen of Swords

February 19, 2018

Life Is Hard

Bob Dylan

The evening winds are still
I've lost the way and will
Can't tell you where they went
I just know what they meant
I'm always on my guard
Admitting life is hard
Without you near me

The friend you used to be
So near and dear to me
You slipped so far away
Where did we go astray?
I passed the old schoolyard
Admitting life is hard
Without you near me

Ever since the day
The day you went away
I felt that emptiness so wide
I don't know what's wrong or right
I just know I need strength to fight
Strength to fight that world outside

Since we've been out of touch
I haven't felt that much
From day…

Since we've been out of touch
I haven't felt that much
From day to barren day
My heart stays locked away
I walk the boulevard
Admitting life is hard
Without you near me

The sun is sinking low I guess it's time to go
I feel a chilly breeze
In place of memories
My dreams are locked and barred
Admitting life is hard
Without you near me

"That though the radiance which was once so bright be now forever taken from my sight. Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower. We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind."

William Wordsworth

Valentine's Day, 2/14/2018

nosegays and billets-doux

youthful desire for bonhomie, for inclusion,

to be genuinely considered to possess merit,

was surprisingly, alarmingly, exquisitely granted.

your songs made the colors in my mind shine.

the times urged freedom welcoming no restraint.

soaring consciousness evolved and highlighted grand artistry,

incongruously coexisting with devastation in foreign lands.

like it or not -- you were our leading light!

your perceived perfection, your gifted romantic persona,

your rousing idealism trailing an enthralled throng

inspired and your proposal, to have it all, inflamed --

common sense deserted...caution was thrown to the wind.

shape shifters, magicians and dream merchants

toyed with reality, confusing and leading many a soul astray,

but a freight load of letters and a raft of songs persevered

and before i knew it....to this very day, a half century later --

i'm loving the most interesting man I never met.

Queen of Swords

(Painting: Portrait of a Lady with a Nosegay by Francesco Bacchiacca (1494-1557)
_______________________________________

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQlZGvVQmGs

"Shooting Star" by "Dylan"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6-Gcu2tqkA

"We Better Talk This Over" - Bob Dylan

Where she held me in her arms one time and said, "Forget me not"

from "Señor" by Bob Dylan

(Flowers: Forget-Me-Nots)

"Just don’t know what to do I’d give anything to be with you"

from "Love Sick" by Bob Dylan

I've often felt the same.

Lately:

The Tarot for us. Yes, d.m. what's going on currently between you and me

A hierophant (Ancient Greek: ἱεροφάντης) is a person who brings religious congregants into the presence of that which is deemed holy. The hierophant is the masculine counterpart to the High Priestess. He is also known as Chiron, the Pope and the Shaman. (perhaps that's what you've been, without even knowing it.) In a tarot reading this may indicate, among other things, a structured belief system and strong sense of cultural identity in one's past.

The Chariot--Control, will power, victory, assertion, determination. One definition, which resonated with me, is intellectual concord.

Further, from other sources:

The chariot is one of the most complex cards to define. On its most basic level, it's about getting what you want. It implies war, a struggle, and an eventual, hard-won victory over enemies, obstacles, nature, the uncertainties inside you. But there is a great deal more to it. The charioteer wears emblems of the sun, yet the sign behind this card is Cancer, the moon. The chariot is all about motion, and yet it is often shown as stationary. What does this all mean? It means a union of opposites, like the black and white steeds. They pull in different directions, but must be (and can be) made to go together in one direction. That is perhaps the most important message of the Chariot.

Separate the driver form the chariot, the chariot from the horses, the horses from each other and from the driver, and nothing gets done. They all do their own thing. Put them all together, with the same goal in mind, and there will be no stopping them

Confidence as well as unity of purpose and control is needed, and, most especially, motivation. The card can, in fact, indicate new motivation or inspiration, which gets a stagnant situation moving again. It can also imply, on a more pragmatic level, a trip.

The Chariot is a fascinating card, but also frustrating to interpret. Like Cancer, the crab, it is about being armored, self-reliant and in command of one's own destiny. On the battlefield, a chariot is autonomous. It fights alone, not with other troops or cavalry.

The Chariot is a card of contradictions. It's about sidewise battles, yet also about full-speed ahead. It's about the hard exterior and the soft interior, the light and dark, the water and the shore, moon and sun. It is the Sphinx, which is also often a symbol of Cancer, the lion and the man united, a mystery. Yet the Chariot says all these can be united.

The person who gets this card is likely dealing with a lot of contradictions in their life. Maybe arguing people, or a variety of different feelings. The card says that they must become the driver of the chariot. They must decide on a goal, take control and get all the contradictions to ignore their wants and go where the person wants.

How can the person do this? By being confident. The one who has unwavering faith in their convictions is the one who can make others put aside their differences and do as asked. Likewise, such a person can overcome their doubts and uncertainties and achieve victory.

You must have faith that there is nothing that can stand in your way. (Ridiculous!) Note, however, that this unity and the confidence that creates it will last only till victory is achieved. But then, the Chariot isn't interested in unity for unity's sake. Only in unity for victory's sake. (Say what?)

The Chariot is a marvelous card in that it can assure the person success no matter the odds. But the card also warns that the drive toward this victory might lead to ruthless, diehard behavior, to a desire to win at any cost. (Not my style...as if there ever was "a way). The person should be reminded that winning isn't everything nor "the only thing." It is, rather, the start of things. (What if one has already "won"...more than ever imagined...just a matter of interpretation, n'est ce pas?)

___________________________________

Earlier in February 2018

in days of feasts and sentencing

wistful tone and treble, your cadence

a slow mood that merged sober and worldly

were colors more sonorous altered by grace?

did talent's largesse rest on generosity?

the calibrated tension of your disposition

assigned failsafe access to whirlwinds of movement

you captured a lone attuned vibration,

lavished on a stranger whose presence was declined

time and distance -- forces great -- chose.

Queen of Swords

Sometime in January 2018

"...A LIFE CONTAINED, PARSED INTO OBJECTS."

"She had to sell everything she owned" (from Tangled Up in Blue by Dylan).

Well, it's true I sold my best rings my grandmama gave me to get to Woodstock. It would make a better story if it were to go to the concert (which I did not) or the year before when I lived there, but it was several years later to reminisce and for many other reasons. (did not even know if you were there still.)

Since things are currently rather pinched, I presented the above to Christie's and Sotheby's in NYC but it was not precious enough and also they don't have the resources to research its provenance. It was a gift from my mother. The micro petit point piece was done by nuns around the time of my birth in the 1940s. Imagine such delicate shading and expertise and care while atrocities were committed all about. There is faith to be had for human nature.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schlehdorf_Abbey

To entertain you D.M., lest you think I ain't alive and kickin' anymore or goodness knows not thinking of you. (The 'otherworldly" thing (Celestial Sun)I've started is languishing. Also unfinished: High Priestess (about an unexpected deal) and other remnants. I guess I need a "shot of love"...or something!)

Bon Mots

Stolen tidbits from the "time of Versailles" arranged to amuse you.

Doves sighed and churtled upon seeing all the would-bes and might-have-beens, that gaggle of grand deceivers and ne'er-do-wells, who towing and froing, doffing and donning went about with frills and flourishes, with sabers that parry and thrust, eschutcheons grandly displayed, their horses grandly caparisoned...

"Love is in the one who loves, not in the one who is loved." Plato

"--brooding darkness spreads his jealous wings and the night raven sings"
"--"Tomorrow to fresh woods and pastures new"
"--and drowsy tinklings lull the distant folds"

Milton

"'tis folly where ignorance is bliss. 'Tis folly to be wise."

"...and all the air a solemn stillness holds"

Thomas Gray

"Where there is neither sense nor joys. But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteems." (how apt)

John Clare

"Alas, what good are shrines and vows to maddened lover? The inward fire eats the soft marrow away, And the internal wound bleeds on in silence." (that too)

The Aeneid

The Man in the Long Black Coat - Bob Dylan

https://vimeo.com/80491883

I'll Remember You - Bob Dylan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S5OxHjqPbk

The bottom line, for me d.m. is that it always was...and still is you. Who could ever outshine you! As if that weren't enough, your responses to me have been inspired, original, astute, innately beautiful and I believe, heartfelt.

You are an impossible act to follow, at any rate, and so the kind of man who one has to forgive just about anything. My physical being is earth bound but my mind always is with you, despite that over the years I've tried every which to extricate myself.

What else, but to have kept on going however and in whatever way I could and finally accept my fate -- passion, euphoria and sorrow alike, which I've shared with you, the only person I've come across who can appreciate the bigger picture, as well as the nuances, gratification and torment alike. If a repeat, please excuse a senior moment...ha!

In the car lately: "Blind Willie McTell" (Bob Dylan) and "One More Cup of Coffee" (Bob Dylan)...and oh how jealous I was how you just picked up that violin musician off the street...ah but in another life!

Your lyrics were ever so much important to me, but over the years and especially lately I am in awe of the melodies and the combination of instruments involved and the variety of styles. I like to lull myself to sleep with sound and think it would be lovely to just have the melodies (that can live on their own --easily done in a studio. Nothing like McCartney's orchestral though) because "stories" take you into a specific world or memories of one's own specific experiences.

January 22, 2018

"...A LIFE CONTAINED, PARSED INTO OBJECTS."

More Than a Few

Leaning into the darkness,

weakness dictates and the last straw awaits.

A thousand tasks that exemplified usefulness,

are a testament of living served a purpose.

Finding accomplishment huddled with barren attempts,

personifies more than a few.

Fleeing from words and concepts

the hurt leaps from the fray seeking -- what?

...a bridge that favors the slender favor of good fortune --

finding you on the other side.

Queen of Swords

Si khohaimo may patshivalo sar o tshatshimo. (Believed to be Romani (Gypsy) There are lies more believable than truth.

Mon cher bro':

Thought I'd look and see if anything new was upon the shelf and found but two. ”Another Side of Bob Dylan," which I had not read (things take decades sometimes before they trickle down to the deep.) Much skipping through was involved. All things pertaining to you could have been compiled in ten pages, but of course, if you want to sell a book, your name will do it.

What did I learn? If true, that the motorcycle accident was negligible and you continued to ride long after, that you brought your secret second wife and her daughter on tour and that you stopped drinking at in the 90s. I figured where I was and doing in each instance...that's about it. No point, you can't step into the same river twice as the saying goes. Additionally, whereas the author states that there was no intention to mention anything negative, it was obvious that some aspects were in evidence -- that is, you are undeniably brilliant but in need of empathy and compassion, yet unable to provide it. Who am I to judge?

I opened Chronicles I at random, as one might the Bible for insight, or perhaps some divination. The pages where you mentioned "Everything's Broken" and "What Was It You Wanted?" came up. The first, as said before, a very clever song and easily accessible to everyman and certainly apropos for what's been happening around here. The other, if intended for the press as indicated in the book, understandable. If more personal...well it felt somewhat raw at the time...that is to say: What is it YOU wanted from me, d.m.?

Note to self: I most often think of and miss my "significant other" at night. before unconsciousness hits (on those nights not totally sleepless) and "daydream" of him lying near me...three/four feet away, both not in the all together and perhaps even facing in opposite directions...but there, you know?

Beyond the Horizon - Bob Dylan (Well couldn't do anything about the video)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mdrp6OvzRoA

_______________________________________

January 12, 2018 (Mostly deleted)

"Where Teardrops Fall" (video not available)

by Bob Dylan

Far away where the soft winds blow
Far away from it all
There is a place you go
Where teardrops fall

Far away in the stormy night
Far away and over the wall
You are there in the flickering light
Where teardrops fall

We banged the drum slowly
And played the fife lowly
You know the song in my heart
In the turning of twilight
In the shadows of moonlight
You can show me a new place to start

I’ve torn my clothes and I’ve drained the cup
Strippin’ away at it all
Thinking of you when the sun comes up
Where teardrops fall

By rivers of blindness
In love and with kindness
We could hold up a toast if we meet
To the cuttin’ of fences
To sharpen the senses
That linger in the fireball heat

Roses are red, violets are blue
And time is beginning to crawl
I just might have to come see you
Where teardrops fall

So how do I cope you wonder, after years of being a "cubicle serf, then twenty years of living amongst the "unawakened," untouched by a lover or reasonable facsimile, curtailed by lack of funds. Well, I'll share it with you, if I ever finish it. It's otherworldly, hardly very original and unlike anything I've written but it's the only place I've found to "go." Consider Amaterasu and the Divine Mirror at ISE. Just have to see how it goes--sometimes signals are reinforcing but nothing is ever guaranteed, except one thing and ain't that the truth.

"Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fool's gold mouthpiece
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proves to warn that he not busy being born
Is busy dying"

from Bob Dylan's "It's Alright, Ma"

What can I share with you this day (not too personal). Perhaps "bon mots" my fine Nobel Prize recipient (which is, I admit somewhat intimidating despite the establishment tint and years too late)? \

"...he can see the shadows under her eyes and the curved lines beside her mouth, swags of grief.

" Some sentiment of timeless resonance, heart, delicacy rippling circles of association. Some part of myself never to be relinquished or forgotten."

"austere museum of regret, a despairing eloquence."

"...her letter remained untouched in the drawer, its truth scalding the dark."

"...reeling into the past, twinned feelings of helplessness and terror patrolling my shoulders like two sharp-beaked crows."

"....clever little cold steel pen of her intellect"

"...delectatory and spiteful"

"...stillness descended upon the room like a fall of dew"

"...flagrant spirits and malcontents without respect."

"...far from the necessary defenses of her mind' cold calculating logic."

"crows...haranguing the esteemed captive audience, their black laughter of the foolishness of men, drowning out with equal irreverence the noble gods and the poor cowardly sparrows that would not leave the shelter of the pine trees.

"...A LIFE CONTAINED, PARSED INTO OBJECTS."

New Year's Day 2018

https://vimeo.com/88394333
"Lay Down Your Weary Tune" Bob Dylan

Lay Down Your Weary Tune

Bob Dylan